cerita si dia

Alhamdulillah...

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 16:22:00 +0000

It's a word which bring deep feeling of gratitude. And that's the best word to express my feeling on what happened today. Finally, the result was out. I'm so happy with it. My mom too. Alhamdulillah..

I checked my result through the sms texting system. The UM student portal has been in renovation mood since last week. So since then, I tried to check the exam result everyday by sms without failed.

And today, I checked again, and walla, the result was ready! My heart stopped pumping when the phone screen appeared my matrix number instead of "Keputusan anda sedang diproses.". I scrolled down and there, I saw my GPA, CGPA and overall is "Lulus"! HAPPY! I'm so happy!

I passed my paper so called engineering-mathematics-killer-subject at the very first time! Woot! Honestly, I still can't believe I did it! Haha. I have been escaping from taking this subject since two years ago! LOL!

Please asked Hilman, Asrul or maybe Dewi how tough is this subject. And to survive - keep going to classes and tutorials for at least 80% attendances, completing the assignment without any masterpiece copy and do the revision alone plus the exhausted traveling from Ipoh to KL day by day, I tell you, it wasn't easy at all. This made today as a small sweet victory!

Right after knew the result, I straight away told Ibu which happened to be at home. Ibu hugged me, and kissed me. Haha. I can saw that how happy she was!

I texted Dewi, my Dewi Vector, to share with her my happiness. Her notes and guides (that include guides while she was holiday in Bali) have helped me a lot. Thank you, Dewi!

And, Asrul too, thank you for suggested on what should I studied when I was blank. And Aina, thank you for lending me your SPM Add Math references book and pushed me hard at the very last hour! Haha.

Last but not least, to this one special person, thank you so much for believing in me when I'm not. Thank you for the endless support especially when I was down. Both means a lot to me. Can't thank you enough for that! And thank you for the "f ' " meaning too! Hehe.

I'm so thrill to start the new semester which also my last semester. Two weeks left, people! Hopefully next semester will be fabulous like this semester too! Insyaallah!

Untitled

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 13:08:00 +0000

I haven't write anything this month yet it's already middle of December. No interesting things happened to me since most of the time I just stayed at home, done things as a girl should do..

I'm happy with my life now. It's not all happy, not all laugher but at least I don't feel miserable or worry like before. I feel more relax now since halfway of my life complexity has gone. I wish it will stay this way in future.

Hmm...

Result will be out at anytime now. Nervous has been a close buddy. The worst one - I had couple of nightmares on the result. Adeh. Hopefully it will be okay.

Beyond that, Ibu has persuade me to start apply for jobs. She was the one who excited since I'll be graduating soon, not the yours truly. I mean soooooooon. I guess it's still early. The main concern is I'm not sure to work either within my study field or others. Or maybe I should further my study?

Baby, can you decide for me? *hug*

Haha. Never mind. There are still plenty of time to decide. As for now, I want to enjoy my holiday which will be over in 2 weeks. Waaaaaaa...

P/s: My *hug* only for those who deserved.

Gossip

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 10:57:00 +0000

Kamu salah sorang Gossip Girl? Atau kamu mungkin Gossip Boy?

Mesti kamu mahu tahu gossip ini bukan! Ia benar dan bukan scam. Cubalah! Memang berbaloi!

Klik Here For The Gossip!

P/s: Password '123456'.

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keluarga rosli

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 05:05:00 +0000

Hai i am eca i love cik sinar and i love every one. saya suka bermain bersama cik sinar. eca selalu tidur bersama cik sinar. tetapi eca takan tinggalkan cik sinar. eca sayang papa dan mama . eca sayang juga semua orang . eca paling suka abalip juga. love U.

- RUSHAMEZA AREESYA BT ROSLI

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Love you too, Sayang! Muaxx muaxx!

That part was written by my dear darling Eca. Sweetnya la budak kecik ni. Saya mahu tulis blog, dia pon mahu juga. So that's her first entry ever. Totally written by her, saya tak edit apa-apa. Title pon dia yang tulis. Hehe. Oh, sekarang saya ada di rumah dia untuk beberapa hari.

Tak mahu cakap banyak. I'm blessed to have her as my niece. She never fail to make me happy. Macam mana lah bila Eca pi stay oversea nanti. Sedihnya...

We do camwhoring just now. That's what we always do when we are together actually. Haha. Enjoy...

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Is This Monkey Love?

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:52:00 +0000

I went to the hospital again - sent my friend came from Penang which I fetched earlier at the bus station and at the same time visited her dad. He still unconscious in the Intensive Care Unit.

I just want to share a story of a girl which I knew when I was at the hospital this evening...

She's only 14. And the boyfriend is 18 years old and has been admitted to hospital since a week ago because of accident. The boy was in the normal ward but unconscious. The girlfriend waited at the hospital along with the boyfriend's family. Tak kira malam or siang which mean she was escaping school. The girl's parent didn't know until the school handed a letter informing their daughter has been absent the whole week. Maybe the parent knew about their daughter waited at night, tapi tak sangka siang juga. Phew~

Maybe she thought it's okay to escape school since the final examination is over. But at least she did something good. Bukan pergi merewang ntah mana-mana kan?

Saya sangat hormat gadis itu. I knew, it's a big wrong to escape school. Saya tak puji dia pon kerana dia ponteng. Tapi saya hormat kesungguhan dia menunggu si buah hati. She's only 14 okay.. Still young but she is really serious in this what people called as "Cinta Monyet". She can choose not to border about his boyfriend. Yelah, budak-budak lagi kan. The girl is so pretty, cute and nice. She can left him if she want. And easily get a new boyfriend. But she didn't. What a sweet girl. So faithful.

If I myself in her condition, in case I had a boyfriend at her age, and the same thing happened, I don't think I can do like what she do now. She waited every single day without fail.

Memang seorang girlfriend yang susah sama susah, senang sama senang.

I wish the boy will be conscious so soon so that the his family and the girlfriend didn't have to wait anymore. The same prayer goes to my dear friend's dad too. Mudah-mudahan semuanya segera sedar dan kembali sehat seperti biasa.

And bila dah sedar, saya harap lelaki itu akan appreciate his girlfriend and treat her nicely. If he didn't, he is in a big lost. And everyone else, treat your loves one the best as you can. We wouldn't know until when they will be with us. Sometimes, things happened when the least you expect them. Appreciate now or you'll regret.

Okay, have a great weekend. Don't forget to spend time with your loves one!

P/s: Pretty nervous for this Sunday (the 360^th) on 10 a.m at not sure yet where... Okay, sangat-sangat nervous actually... tik tok tik tok...

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Bite The Bullets

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:27:00 +0000

That's what I told Hilman yesterday when he asked how things are getting on. Well, it's short and simple answer but enough to summarize everything. I thought people has totally forget about it. Dah over 2 weeks okay. Orang lain dah buat tak tahu. Tanya masa first day, lepas tu buat tak tahu je. But not you, Man! Dari awal lagi dah tanya, semalam tanya lagi. Thank you for your concern.

I'm biting all the bullets as much as I can no matter how the bullets cause me deeply pains. Ceh, macam power kan! But I'm trying people. That's the one thing I tried to do by myself.

It feels like months I ignored this blog but it's only been 2 weeks. Sigh. Poyo je konon tak nak blog. Tahan few days je. And here, I'm back to write something before I'll be going away again. And, after a long time, please expect this post will be quite long. Huhu..

I heard this on the radio last week. Lets named the caller as S. He shared his break-up experience which has been in my mind for a while.

Both were in deeply love. But none of the friends liked their relationship nor support them as couple. Then, because of the friend's pressures, S left his girl and married to someone else. And the girl was down, pressure and sick. Betul-betul tertekan sampai jatuh sakit. The saddest part, the girl sakit sampai meninggal. Poor dear girl.

Mungkin situasi saya tak sama 100% macam gadis itu. But I know the pain when someone we love left, the pain when he actually left you for other girl. Hmmm... I'm not a strong girl.. Even a small thing can make me crying. Tapi saya tak mahu meninggal kerana sakit makan hati. Wallahuallam.

Oleh itu, saya cuba untuk gembira seperti orang lain walau sedang sakit.

This two weeks, I have been down with fever for three times. It's not a great feeling at all. I have becoming so weak and lazy those days. Saya penat untuk demam yang saya tak minta. And, each time when I caught with fever, I felt so guilty to Selimut Hati. Sebab saya tahu dia mesti rasa serba salah. Bukan salah dia saya demam, cuma badan saya tak kuat untuk terima pressure.

Masa second time demam, a friend ask for hang out. I said okay - without mentioning the fever. Tak larat, tapi laratkan juga sebab tak mahu duduk dalam kesedihan. Tak mahu meninggal akibat kesedihan. Another friend sms said that her father was in ICU Ipoh. I pay a visit even masa tu badan panas. Once at the hospital, they have H1N1 screening. Sangat cuak. Luckily that time my flu has fully stop or else I might turned to be the patient rather than visitor.

You see? I'm trying to live on. I'm trying so hard to move my ass to meet those friends even I'm not feeling so well cause I appreciated them. Tak tahu lagi bila dapat jumpa. Short conversations with them really made me feel so peace. Kami tak sembang tentang lara dalam hati saya, tapi saya rasa macam hilang beban kat bahu. Magik okay.

Seorang kawan rapat pernah berkata....

Diya, aku tahu hang sedih. Tapi nak buat macam mana Diya? Orang tak nak hang. Hang kenalah terima. Aku tahu susah. Sebab dah sayang. Ko nak nangis, nangis lah bila orang takde, bila nak tidur, bila dalam bilik. Tapi depan orang ko senyum, ko gelak, ko tunjuk yang ko happy, ko tunjuk yang ko okay Jangan kasi orang tahu yang dalam sebenarnya ko sakit...

I took all his words. And that's what I'm doing right now. Saya redha dengan ketentuan ini. Saya redha kalau he's not the one. Saya redha juga kalau dah tertulis takdir I'll be single the rest of my life. Saya tak nak fikir masa depan lagi. Saya cuma mahu tumpu untuk sekarang. Saya mahu nikmati apa yang saya ada sekarang.

And to Aainaa, Hilman, Khalil and Syue, thank you so much for the time you have spent for me. I feel a bit relax now. And I'm more glad that I didn't even told or shed any tears pon pada Aainaa. Good girl, Diya!

Okay. Rasa tak adil kalau tak cakap tentang Selimut Hati. He has play the biggest role for this two weeks. Dialah racun, dialah penawar. Thank you for helping me survive this whole two weeks. Terima kasih kerana sabar. Terima kasih kerana membantu saya di saat-saat saya jam, down study tak leh masuk. Study dah berjam tapi macam tak tahu apa-apa lepas tu cuma tahu menangis je. Terima kasih tak putus-putus bagi kata perangsang.

Ya Allah, sayangnya saya pada hamba Allah sorang nie...

I wish my results won't disappointed him. Tak nak dia rasa dia tak membantu walhal banyak dah yang dia bantu. Insyallah.

As for now, saya rasa 26% okay. Increase 6% from the last time I told Selimut Hati. Mudah-mudahan doa dia untuk 99% termakbul jua. But, in order to get that level maybe it will took years.

Sekarang, kamu akan nampak saya senyum, saya gelak, saya ketawa.. Saya mencuba untuk buat takde apa-apa yang terjadi. Saya nak nampak cool depan kamu semua. Sedih macam mana pon, menangis terok macam mana pon, biarlah bantal-bantal busuk saya je yang tahu.

Okaylah. Will mengomel later. Nak pegi bite the bullets. Ehek.

P/s: Tak nak demam kali ke-empat. Badan, kamu kuat lah sikit...

P/s/s: Pergi IKEA, 2 days in a row. Pergi mengutip sisa-sisa kenangan manis yang ada... Rindu...

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Mari Main Mango's Game!

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:03:00 +0000

9 mini handcarved eraser stamps

Photo by Mangosteenskin.

Mangosteenskin is well-known for her handcarved stamps. I love to "skodeng" her blog to see her latest stamp designs. They are so cute, pretty and make me feel so geram like to munch them straight away! LOL! She even featured in Utusan once not so long time ago. Woohoo~

Mangosteeskin is holding a game called Mango's Game for two weeks. For further detail, pay a visit to Mango's Game.

I always wanted to have her stamps as collections. And I guess, this Mango's Game giving me a chance in starting to collect them since she is going to give 9 mini handcarved eraser stamps as the winning prize plus a personalized stamp. Hoho.

So, sis Mangosteenskin, I would love to see Chandelier stamp from you. Lampu mewah gitu. And maybe, some swirls or damask stamps too. Oh my, thats three already. Sorry ya, Mangosteenskin. I'm so thrilled. LOL! Okay, let me put like this, Chandelier with swirls or damask motif.. How's that sound? Hehe..

Okay, jangan tunggu lagi, let's join me in this Mango's Game! Oh, please pray that I'll win. Saya sangat-sangat mahukannya.. Amin..

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Saya Rasa Nampak Kamu!

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:43:00 +0000

Aku kusyuk geledah handbag. Sedang lalu di depan Sushi King Jusco Ipoh, tiba-tiba, ada sorang lelaki besar cross depan aku.

Aku terus dongak.

Terkejut. Terdiam. Jantung terhenti.

Ibu dengan adik dah jauh dah. Aku masih tercegat kat situ. Mata memang tak lepas pandang dekat lelaki tu. Masih mengekori arah mana lelaki itu tuju sampai hilang dari pandangan.

Muka dia...

Tinggi dia...

Badan dia...

Rambut dia..

Dressing dia...

Jaket dia...

Gaya dia...

Kembar ke? Ohh, tak mungkin!

Ya Allah, cam nak terkeluar jantung ni...

Dia?

Mungkin... Pelanduk dua serupa!

Mungkinlah...

Atau aku duk teringat sampai terbayang! Haha. Tapi yakin, pelanduk dua serupa. Sangat serupa!

Sayu betul bila dia sudah hilang dari pandangan..

Dan malam tadi pelanduk original wish good night and Etcetera after a long time. Hmmm...

Ada makna ape-ape ke?

P/s: Macam pekerja Sushi King. Tak pasti.

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Tak Rasa Raya Kalau...

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:46:00 +0000

saya tak main bunga api! Hahaahaa!

Ekor mercun roket...

Main bunga api tu nikmat. Tengok percikan api tu buat hati rasa riang. Time raya je pon bole main. Waktu lain, tak sesuai. Mesti orang tengok pelik.

Bunga api lawa macam sambutan merdeka.

Lagi satu, saya tak rasa raya juga kalau tak tengok orang main mercun. *grin* Saya takut nak main mercun. Jadi saya mampu nengok je. Lepas tu sambil jerit... "Wow!" - "Pergh!" - "Ehh?" - "Aaa!!" Memang fanatik betul!

Seperti berada di konsert Ambang Merdeka la pulak!

Saya tahu benda-benda ini diharamkan kerajaan. Ini gara-gara budak-budak yang main sampai tercedera, hilang tangan, buta dan sebagainya. Ada jugak yang tak suka sebab bising, dan kononnya mengganggu ketenteraman awam. Tapi, raya tu kan setahun sekali je.

Mercun gantung, selalu pakai waktu Tahun Baru Cina.

Sepupu saya cakap, pernah polis ronda lalu waktu dia sedang bermain mercun. Dah agak cuak. Tapi abang polis sambil berlalu dengan motosikalnya cuma tegur, "Adik, hati-hati ye main tu!" Haha. Sangat cool brother polis tu!

30 kali bakar mercun satu malam, 30 kali la berlari..

Bole kurus la kau, dik! Hehe..

Dulu-dulu takde pon kes-kes cedera ni. Family saya - sepupu sepapat dari kecil lagi dah mecebur dalam bidang ni. Tapi alhamdulillah, semuanya sehat walafiat sampai sekarang. Kami main, diawasi ibu bapa atau pakcik makcik. Itu satu. Sepupu, anak buah dan adik saya main mercun tak baling pada orang, bukan pada sesiapa. Yang main baling pada orang tu yang jadi masalah. Nak main mercun atau nak letupkan orang?

Yours truly sedang cuba untuk spread the love. Tak tahulah pada siapa.

Kami takdak modified mercun. Dapat rupa camtu, camtulah kami main. Kami pon takdak nak cipta apa-apa meriam buluh atau paip nak tembak rumah orang. Budak-budak sekarang ni banyak akalnya. Dah beli mercun, modified pulak. Walhal, ilmu tu cetek je. Beli karbait campur benda lain. Haish. Bijak la sangat!

Sesuai untuk budak-budak.

Kalau tanya pendapat saya, saya sokong semua main mercun, kecuali mercun bola. Mercun bola tu tak payah la. Itu sesuai guna waktu perang je. Bila meletup, bunyi kuat, boleh sakit jantung. Rumah pon boleh bergegar.

Dan sekali lagi berlari...

Tapi nak main mercun ni, kenelah tengok umur jugak. Mercun hardcore kasi yang remaja je main. Tak kan umur 5 tahun dah kasi main mercun roket. Haishh. Kalau 5 tahun, main bunga api dengan mercun pop pop sudahlah. Meletup juga.

Mercun lebah.

Sepupu sedang spread the news.

News bahawa duit dia dah kosong sebab beli mercun. Hehe.

Dah membebel panjang pula saya ni. Layan la dua video terakhir ni khas buat anda, peminat bunga api yang juga penonton setia fan mercun bermain mercun seperti saya! Zaast...

Ala-ala konsert final AF pulak. Muahaha...

Tengok video ni ada teringat satu drama kat TV3 tak?

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My Raya Story

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 16:43:00 +0000

This is so late. Sigh. Just layan je la~

My morning raya was celebrate in Teluk Intan. Nothing much happened there. Later in the afternoon, me and my brother, were going back to celebrate raya in Johor. My parent and sister stayed in Teluk Intan.

Since it was already late evening when we reached Johor, I miss the big gathering on the first day of Raya.

These photos were taken on the second day of raya. Enjoy those photos while I'll continue my story..

Cousins, nephew and brother.

They have top Malaysian's VIP look. Guess who is who? Hehe..

The morning of second raya. The boys were ready for Akah Nikah ceremony! Ehh.. Bara'an la! LOL! Bara'an is a Jawa word which mean going raya house to house in a large group. Usually the group can be up to 60 to 70 or more peoples. As far as I knew, Bara'an is famous in rural area of Johor and Selangor.

My favourite kids!

Iwan, Ameera, Echa and Ena.

Lek Nah's family.

While we were in Johor, we stayed at Lek Nah's house. She was the closest auntie, since she used to stay with us in Ipoh when we were kids. Oh ya, back then, I used to call Lek Nah as Mak.

Went raya at other auntie's house.

This is Echa.

She is my favourite niece. We were like an item.

Again. Isn't she adorable? :)

Echa is the purest hearted kid that I ever met.

Sayang betul kat dia neh.

Cam-whoring.

My cousin, Nabil. He's only 15 but he away too high.

I'm only at his shoulder level.

Favourite, kuih gunting. Home made by my auntie.

Teruja since it's raya.

Me either! LOL!

I'm pretty happy that I back to Johor to celebrate raya. It would be a lot better if my parent and sister were there too. I can't be selfish. But, I tell you, it's not easy to not raya with your own parent. Sayu ok. I almost cry on the second raya because I miss my parent, and it's raya some more. But, some people just don't understand this...

However, I'm enjoying every minutes I was there. Don't know whether I'll have another opportunity to be back in Johor in future.

Ohh, by the way, I received a lot of duit raya this year. It's more than Rm500. But now, I'm already broke. Haha. This year will be the last year to received it since I'll be working by next raya. Insyaallah..

Will share more on raya in the coming post. Syawal will be over in 10 days! Pantasnya la...

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Saya Memang Old-School...

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 15:28:00 +0000

Reading Hanis Zalikha's post and the comment submitted has made me feel like I have to decide on something... *sigh*

Rahsia for now. Dah lama rasa hal nie, tapi stay positif lagi. Just makin lama, gerak hati makin kuat. Mungkin inilah masanya...

And here, I quoted on what Hanis wrote which are my personal favourite...

"...Personally, I strongly feel that love relationship should always menuju ke arah perkahwinan...."

"...You get into relationship sebab you jatuh cinta dan you harapkan untuk berkahwin dengan orang itu. Ha barulah old-school..."

Saya memang old-school. Haha. Tak salah jadi old-school. Cool ape?

Okay lah. Buat kamu yang lain;

Cinta bukan mainan.

Semalam rasa berbunga. Hari ni sangat suka. Esok just kawan. Lusa dah tak kenal pulak. Hmmmm....

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Ramadhan 1430

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 13:14:00 +0000

Aku patut tulis ni masa hari last Ramadhan. Tapi tak sempat. Line kat Teluk Intan asyik hijau je. Then excited pasal balik Johor and pasal gigi, terus terpinggir pasal Ramadhan nie..

Jadi aku tulislah jugak sebab Ramadhan ni paling istimewa dan yang paling gembira buat aku..

Kenapa aku suke sangat Ramadhan tahun ni?

Aku kat rumah. Bersahur dan berbuka bersama dengan keluarga. Makan makanan rumah. Aku bukan jenis yang bole bersahur. Selalu sakit perut kalau sahur. Tapi, mengenangkan Ramadhan tahun lepas yang terasa sangat sorang-sorang, aku gagahkan gak bangun sahur. Bila lagi aku dapat peluang emas macam ni. Tahun depan Insyaallah aku dah kerja. Jadi mustahil bole dapat bersahur dengan keluarga sekerap cam Ramadhan tahun nie.

Bila Ramadhanlah baru betul rasa makan sekali satu meja satu keluarga. Time ni yang syok. Haha. Kalau ari biasa, Ibu makan petang, Bapak pulak kadang-kadang tak nak makan malam sebab diet. Abang pulak selalu lepak luar. Jarang dapat makan sekali semua ada tapi time puasa almost everyday!

Aku memang seronok berbuka dengan family. Takdela rasa macam Ramadhan tahun lepas. Berbuka sorang. Takde kawan. Terpinggir cam pengemis sebab aku tengah susah time tu. Nasib baik ada internet. Adalah jugak benda yang wat aku rasa terisi. Masa tu hari-hari berbuka benda yang sama. Kalau tak nasi beriyani dengan rendang daging, mesti nasi tomato ayam masak merah. Pastu, keropok lekor lagi. Sambil berbuka, sambil komen-komen kat blog Kak Emila. Berbuka kat luar? Seingat aku sekali. Masa tu Wana, Sha and Faiz throw small birthday party. Hmm.. Bila kenang balik, memang sedihlah. Kalau masa nak buka tu terasa cam alone sangat, mesti call Bapak sebab takde kawan. Terhibur skit hati walau masa tu mata dah berkaca.

Tapi tuhan tu adil. Tahun ni betul-betul opposite dari tahun lepas! Alhamdulillah!

Aku berpeluang sekali je gi terawih. Hmm.. Tu sebab adik takde tuisyen masa cuti sekolah. Aku mengalah dengan Ibu untuk uruskan adik tuisyen. Sementara aku kat rumah, biarlah Ibu dapat kerjakan terawih sebanyak mungkin. Aku juga tukang amik Ibu dari masjid lepas terawih sebab Ibu larat buat 8 rakaat je. Bapak buat 20 rakaat.

Mudah-mudahan aku dapat jumpa lagi Ramadhan... Aku nak terawih.. Dan aku harap, aku akan rasa happy macam nie untuk Ramadhan akan datang, Insyaallah kalau panjang umur....

P/s: Already miss Ramadhan.

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Recovery Process

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 03:54:00 +0000

This post is special to my relatives who have been so worry about the minor oral surgery (MOS). Hehe.. Buang gigi je..

I reached the clinic at 8 am while my MOS should be on 9 am. But on 8.15 am I was called to the operation room. The dentist explained again the procedures and I needed to sign a permission letter.

Ingatkan wajib remove 3 geraham. The compulsory to remove was only one teeth. The others were optional as the dentist viewed my x-tray. As long there is no infected to the remain tooth, I can keep both.

8.30 pagi, dentist bagi 2 shot bius. Sampai ke telinga kesannya. 8.45 am the surgery started. And it was ended 1 hour and half later. Triple time longer than usual. Normally the surgery would only took 30 to 45 minutes. The dentists were having problem to detect my teeth root because it located near the jaw bone. Yeah, dentists. While the surgery in progress, my dentist called her mate to help her. It was 1 Malaysia surgery - a Chinese and an Indian dentists plus a Malay nurse.

Lepas siap buang the whole gigi, gusi kene 3 jahitan. Satu jahitan tu dia kenakan kat pipi. I can't see the stitches. But that was the conversation between the dentist and nurse. But it made sense since I can't open my mouth widely after the surgery.

This is right after the operations.

Gambar sangat huduh. Jadi harus hitamkan mata.

At first, merah kat tepi bibir tu ingat darah kering. Try to lap, tapi tak mahu hilang pulak kesan darah tu. Nak lap kuat sikit sakit, so biar je sampai dah kurang sakit baru ingat nak bersih kan betul darah.

I can't talk on the first day. Bila orang bertanya apa-apa, all my communication is through text. Bapak pon then communicate through text jugak.. Alahai.. Bapak ni suke ngajuk tau.. Hehe...

My late lunch. I needed 45 minutes to finish it.

I only took potato mashed, porridge and nestume since the surgery. I don't know why I feel so hungry. I eat one large size of potato mashed and 2 bowls (the above bowl) of porridge in order to rasa perut berisi. Ibu said because I have to take a lot medicines. Maybe kot. Ingatkan boleh la kurus sikit kan. Hampeh.

To sleep is so painful. The surgery has made effect my nerves on neck and shoulder. I have been like robot on the first day. Tak bole nak toleh. So, I have to sleep straight. Tak bole kalih-kalih. Auuw...

The second day. Pipi masih bengkak. Obvious kan?.

Tepi bibir tu was actually luka. No wonder lap, merah-merah tak mau hilang. My friend told from his experienced that he can't neither talk nor eat on the second day. Alhamdulillah, it wasn't happened to me. I can talk! Huhu. But the pronunciation was not as clear as normal. And my appetite is like usual. Hehe.

The gum seem no longer in pain. But my neck and shoulder still. My tongue still numb too. I was on two days of medical leaves. Because of the neck and shoulder haven't feel so good, Ibu didn't allowed me to go UM today.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better. And I wish by Saturday, the gum will be fully recovered since I will be raya at KL!

Oh ya, I have another meeting with the dentist to remove the stitches which I don't know when. Am pretty can't wait for the day!

Okay, need to off now to eat my lunch and take all the six medicines given. Will see you later!

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Tooth Surgery

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:58:00 +0000

I will undergo a minor oral surgery tomorrow morning to remove 3 pieces of my geraham bongsu.. I have never been operate or admitted to hospital so far and thus I'm pretty nervous right now.

As matter of fact, I can't see blood. I have this phobia when I saw it, it makes me feel dizzy and my eyes sort of seeing all black likely want to faint. I have imagine there will be a lot of blood coming out after the surgery. Huhhh... Scary...

All the procedures needed have been done. Including x-tray the tooth. I wanted to share the x-tray photo captured using my mobile phone. Unfortunately, I forget where did I put the phone wire connector. So, maybe later I'll show it.

A friend told that, I'll be in extremely pain a day after the operation. I can't neither eat nor even talk. Hoho. Of course, it worsen my nervous. Sigh.

My doctor is a young Chinese doctor. Maybe 3 to 4 years older than me. She's so sweet. And pretty too! Hehe.. I hope the doctor will be gentle enough to me. Heh..

Ibu will accompany me some more. She took leaves tomorrow and maybe for Tuesday too. Hopefully everything will be alright. Amin...

Gonna get some sleep now. Good night!

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The 182th Post

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 03:44:00 +0000

This is the 182^th post. Ordinary number, but meaningful to me.

Lots of raya story to be shared. But haven't in the mood to write them yet. Just wanna share something today. I found it while blog hopping.

So, spend some time to read this.. It's worth it..

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Just a few months after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through university. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery.
Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people' s habit; slowly you will get use to it." Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
There began the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.
As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes. From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.

One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult po siti on, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?" After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.

In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes.. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life.

Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I was pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?

Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird
look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."
I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if....In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.

Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.

One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I would collapse together with the baby inside me.

That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.
He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.

One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.
As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry...." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?" Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. He tore the papers and slowly moved over me, his tears wetting the blanket. In my heart, everything seemed so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone was gone forever.

Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I was totally cold towards him, I no longer ate anything he bought for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.

Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it was full. I knew he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I was no longer moved by his actions. He had no choice but to lock himself in his room and I could hear him typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that mattered to me anymore. It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?

He held the delivery door opened and watched me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tearing with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand.. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him despite the pain but he lay slumped on the floor, motionless. I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I had never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment when I saw him collapse. Doctor then revealed that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already terminal and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral."

I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hit me. Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning at night was real all this while and he had been putting on a front everytime I came rushing into his room.

His computer revealed the volumes and volumes of words of wisdom he had typed for our son:
"Son, just for you, I have persisted. Its my greatest wish now to be able to take a look at you before I fall. I know that in your life, you will have happiness and some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice it would be. But daddy no longer has that chance. Daddy has written here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestions. Daddy has written all these with happiness but also great disappointment that daddy will not be around to personally hold your hand and guide you through life but after writing all these, daddy feels as if daddy has accompanied you through life’s journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..." From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small is written here.

Hubby had also written a letter for me:
"My dear, to marry you was my greatest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I wanted you to welcome our baby with joy without having the burden of knowing that I would not be around later. My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our baby personally, could you help give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "

The pain of reading became too much to bear and I closed the computer and rushed back to the hospital. Hubby was still asleep. I brought our son over and placed him beside. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I pressed the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face. A final moment of joy.

A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loved me the most in this world is gone forever. Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps in our family.

This is a true story.
LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!

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The tears broke as I was reading it..

If husband and wife can be in this misunderstanding situation, why not other couples or friends.. Right?

It is possible for every couple to be 100% very suitable or serasi with each other. When talking about serasi, it's really subjective.. You can't define serasi in an exact phrase. It' all you and your own perceptions.

As for me, there is no word as TAK SERASI. It's you yourself who said it's not serasi. If you feel like it's not serasi, you can always work out to make it serasi. You can learn to accept others as they were just a matter of time. That's why we have "tolak ansur" in our vocabulary..

Just don't say it's not serasi when your heart is already has someone else..

Please don't say it's not serasi when you are not trying to fix it to make it serasi..

Stop saying it's not serasi when everything is following you way, your desire and decision...

Don't blame it's not serasi when you hardly spend the time to understand the other persons..

I dislike tak serasi...

Too long already. Thanks for reading patiently. Amik iktibar. Appreciate our love one before they are gone.

Take care.

P/s: God, make him read this...

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Cerita Pasal Crocs

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 01:22:00 +0000

Ni kisah kasut crocs yang aku beli sempena birthday baru ni..

Kisah 1

Turun dari kereta. Berjalan nak masuk ke stesen keretapi Ipoh. Aku di depan. Ibu di belakang. Aku pakai kasut crocs. Ibu nampak dari belakang dan tegur.

Ibu: Kak, kasut kakak lawa lah! Macam kasut Asadi!!
Aku: Heh... (-_-")

Haha. Sadis betol. Dia tak tau yang sebenarnya Asadi tiru crocs. And maybe dia tak sangka pon itu Crocs sebab now aku cam da slow skit kat shopping benda pakaian and kasut neh sebab now lebih suke shopping craft stuffs je. Wakakaa.. Adik aku terbahak-bahak gelak masa berbuka bila cerita balik.

Kisah 2

Ni kat stesen keretapi Ipoh jugak. Tengah duduk kat kerusi. Aku baru keluar dari toilet terus tuju ke Bapak. Bapak nampak kasut.

Bapak: Kasut baru ye kak?
Aku: Haah Pak, hadiah birthday untuk diri sendiri. Crocs yang ori tapi murah je. Selesa.
Bapak: Ohh. Murah. Beli kat Ikea ke?
Aku: Erkk? (T_T)

Bapak lupa kot Ikea tu cuma jual kelengkapan rumah! Hahaa... Bagi dia semua yang best tu, Ikea je! Hahahaaa.... Bapak comel betul..

Things like this betul-betul made my day.. Benda kecik, tapi gelak sama-sama, memang terhibur. Rasa takut pulak bila tak dapat stay kat rumah dengan family dah macam sekarang...

P/s: I miss Ibu. Miss Bapak. Miss Kebik. Baru 2 hari, tapi inilah paling lama tak jumpa mereka since I move back to stay with my family.

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Salam Raya

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 03:45:00 +0000

Guess what?

I'm writing this post from my beloved Leknah's house in Batu Pahat! Yup. I'm in Johor now! Haha. Happy sangat ok.

Surprise huh? Weee~

It was my brother plan yang nak balik Johor. Balik Johor sorang-sorang. Dia kata balik Johor itu tradisi kak, mana bole kasi putus.

Then he pujuk me to teman him. Everyday pujuk sejak middle of Ramadhan. And everytime pujuk, mesti cakap last call. Hari ni konon last call. Padahal semalam dah cakap last call.. Haha. Sweet gile dia pujuk. Dengan muka-muka sedih dia. Buat manja-manja skit. Hish...

Ibu pon pujuk. Takpelah. Kenalah belajar balik Johor without parent. Nanti dah kawin macam mana?

Aku kesian. Dan kasihan. Jadi, okaylah. Aku teman la dia balik kampung. Berdua. Setakat duduk saja dalam kereta tu, semua ongkos ditanggung, sape tak nak ye tak? Hehe...

Parent dengan adik perempuan masih di Teluk Intan. Kami di Johor. Macam-macam lah. Gembira dapat balik Johor even baru malam tadi decide di Teluk Intan. Tapi hati ni sebenarnya berbaur-baur sedih sikit sebab first raya dah jauh dengan parent. (T_T)

Takpelah. Pengorbanan. Pulang wakilkan ibu bapa juga ni.

Okaylah. Tak kisah lah kat mana anda berada untuk beraya, aku nak ucapkan....

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

maaf zahir batin

Semoga riang ria berhari raya. Diharapkan raya ni bawa lebih kebahagiaan dan keberkatan buat kita semua. Selamat mengisi perut anda dengan pelbagai makanan yang enak-enak belaka. Jangan lupa, berhati-hatilah di jalan raya dan juga semasa bermain mercun!

P/s: Abang kasi duit raya. First time. Hehehe... Oh ya, I call my brother, Abang.

P/p/s: Tadi tengok adik-adik layan mercun. Seronok.

P/p/p/s: Rindu Ibu, Bapak dengan Adik dah. Heh.

P/p/p/p/s: First time travel jauh berdua dengan Abang. It was not that bad as I thought.

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Tiada Lagi Tradisi Raya

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 07:08:00 +0000

Masa kecik-kecik dulu, umur lebih kurang 4-5 tahun, pukul 5 pagi Ibu Bapak dah gerak bangun. Masa tu kami masih dua beradik.

"Kak, Adik, bangun.. Nak balik Johor tak?"

Bila dengar perkataan Johor, automatik senang je kami bangun. Excited sungguh bila dengar perkataan Johor. Sampai sekarang pon masih excited. Huhu. Mungkin ada yang tau.

Dulu kalau nak raya di Johor, kami akan pulang paling tidak sehari awal. Kadang-kadang dua hari sebelum. Tengok keadaan.

Lepas mandi, kami bersiap-siap. Bapak siapkan kami berpakaian baru.

"Pakai la baju raya. Seluar baru. Skirt baru beli tu. Kasut pon pakai la sekali."

Aku keliru. Maklumlah, masih kanak-kanak.

"Tapi hari ni kan puasa lagi. Nanti raya, baju dah buruk."

Bapak memujuk.

"Laa.. Kan ke kita nak balik raya, boleh la pakai dah. Nanti hari raya, kita pakai baju kurung, baju melayu..."

Aku ikut jela.

Sebenarnya dalam hati dah berbunga riang dah. Bangga. Kembang hidung. Belom lagi raya tapi dah dapat pakai baju raya. Hehe. Berbaju raya dengan muka selebet ngantuk. Mata kuyu. Haha.

Selalunya selepas Ibu dan Bapak siap bersahur, kami akan bergerak. Walau dalam kereta, kasut raya tak buka. Haha. Semangat kasut raya. Nanti bila turun kereta, tak payah nak pakai-pakai lagi.

Pakai baju raya sebelum raya cuma dibenarkan kalau nak balik Johor je. If Teluk Intan, no way. Haha. Sape la makin tak excited nak balik Johor kan?

Dulu takde highway. Jadi takde pilihan, kena lalu jalan lama. Bertolak dari Ipoh, hari masih gelap. Sampai di kampung Johor pon, hari sudah gelap juga. Perjalanan sangat jauh. Pernah kami pulang ke Johor lepas seharian bertolak baru sampai gara-gara kereta rosak di Negeri Sembilan. Dari Ipoh lepas sahur, sampai di Johor jam 3 pagi. Masa tu aku dan adik tahu merengek je.

"Bila nak sampai ni, Ibu? Lamanya. Penatlah Kakak. Bapak bole bawak laju sikit tak? Selalu tak lama macam ini.

Bila sampai je sempadan Melaka-Johor, dah excited sangat tau. Tiap-tiap minit tanya.

"Jauh lagi ke nak sampai? Lama lagi tak?"

Dah nampak rumah embah, haha, tak tau nak cakap perasaan tu macam mana. Mungkin masa kecik-kecik dulu rasa macam sampai syurga. Haha.

Dalam adik-beradik Bapak, Bapak je yang duduk di luar Johor. Jadi, kepulangan kami tu macam ditunggu. Walau kami mungkin pulang ke kampung cuma setahun sekali, tapi layanan keluarga Johor mesra sangat. Tak terasa terasing langsung pon.

Itu reason utama kenapa aku sayang sangat keluarga Johor.

Bila hari raya pertama tu di Johor, mesti ada sesi ambil gambar beramai-ramai. Bapak mesti bawak balik kamera SLR dengan tripod. Gambar amik dua kali. Tak muat nak ambil dalam satu shot.

Bila time makan tu, ada banyak trip. Sebab tak muat dapur. Hahaa.. Nak makan pon dua sesi. Sesi satu kaum adam. Lepas tu baru hawa dan budak-budak kecik. Dengan makcik-makcik yang terror memasak, confirm tambah nasi 2 kali. Haha.

Then, adik-beradik Bapak semua memang kaki lawak. Bapak kalau jumpa Leknah sorang je pon dah cukup. Memang kecoh. Gelak tawa, haaa memang meriah sangatlah.

Bila dah ada highway, lagi mudah perjalanan kami. Masa perjalanan cuma tinggal separuh. 6 jam je paling lama. Balik pon dah makin kerap. Setahun ada dalam 2-3 kali.

Andai kata first day raya kat Teluk Intan, lepas sembahyang raya, kami bertolak balik ke Johor. Selalu sampai sana petang sebab singgah rumah sedara-mara kat Meru dengan Sijangkang. Malam tu lepas maghrib, akan ikut bara'an pergi rumah adik-beradik Bapak yang lain. Then, mestilah collect duit raya. Hehe. Sangat seronoklah pendek kata.

Selama 23 kali raya aku beraya, tak pernah miss balik raya Johor. Macam mana sekali pon, takde duit ke, exam ke, sesak atau susah macam mana pon mesti balik.

Tapi itu dulu lah.

Sejak dua tiga tahun ni, Bapak memang ada ura-ura tak nak balik kampung. Tapi last-last dia juga yang excited nak balik. Dia kata, raya mestilah balik!

Tapi tahun ni dah lain. Bapak has decided. We are not going back kampung for good. Dah takde tradisi balik Johor.

Raya ke-24 untuk aku tradisi berubah. Untuk bapak, ibu dan adik-adik juga.

Bulan 8 aritu ada kenduri kahwin. Bapak kata tak balik. Kami tak rasa apa-apa sangat. Tapi ni raya.

Dalam hati ini sedih tak terkata. Sungguh. Raya ni buat persiapan ala kadar je. Sekadar amik hati sendiri penat lelah berpuasa. Tak kisah sangat pon baju raya tak siap. Tak kisah pon takde baju baru. Even orang semua excited pasal tol diskaun,tol free la, rumah kami relaks je. Macam tak raya lahh..

Mana ada raya, bila tak balik Johor....

Mengenangkan keluarga di Johor, my tears broke easily. Luluh hati aku. Untuk menulis sampai sini pon, 4 kali aku berenti sebab menangis...

I wish I could turn the time to the good old days. Zaman kanak-kanak. Zaman happy-happy belaka. Zaman kita sebagai satu keluarga yang kuat dengan kasih sayang.

Tahun lepas, sorang cousin aku ada cakap dengan Ibu.

"Cik Sri ni baguslah. Tak pernah miss balik raya walau embah dah takde."

Ibu senyum.

"Bang, kalau Cik tak balik, putuslah hubungan saudara tu. Saudara sini tak datang Ipoh. Kalau tak balik, mana nak kenal saudara."

Aku harap mulut Ibu tak masin. Walau kami tak balik, aku harap hubungan tu tetap ada. Masih kenal saudara-mara. Masih ada kasih sayang dalam hati mereka untuk aku dan keluarga.

Ini pengorbanan. Untuk kebaikan semua. Harap-harap, keluarga di Johor paham.

Ibu pujuk aku...

Kak, raya tak semestinya perlu ke rumah orang tu. Yang penting jumpa, tak kisah la di mana rumah sesiapa pon.

Aku sedih. Tapi aku tahu Bapak lagi sedih. Tapi kami tahu, sooner or later, memang tradisi tak kan jadi tradisi lagi...

Buat family kat Johor, Sinar sayang semua sangat-sangat. Walau akan jarang jumpa, semua ada dalam hati sinar. Harap kita kekal mesra sampai bila-bila.

"Koyo Mak Lek omong karo Bapak, seng piye-piye pon kenenglah. Seng penting, kito ki janji guyub."

Nanti ada rezeki, pagi raya, kita buat video conference. From Teluk Intan with loves to Batu Pahat.

Hmmm.. Rindu betullah.

P/s: Semua Haha dan Hehe dan Huhu itu adalah ketawa dalam tangisan.

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It's Coming Back To Me!

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:57:00 +0000

Setelah 36 hari tidak aktif, akhirnya laptop dah pulih! Hooyee!!

Laptop ni dah ganti motherboard baru. Then 1 Gigabyte RAM rosak juga. Tapi belum ganti lagi. Sekarang cuma tinggal 1 Gigabyte RAM je.. Cukuplah buat masa ini. Masih laju juga rasanya.

Total kene bayar RM800. Makan duit betul aku nie... Heh.. (-_-'')

Ape pon sangat happy sebab hard disk tak effect. Semua benda kesayangan masih ada. Happy tersangat-sangat, ok. Macam kanak-kanak dapat makan lolipop tiba-tiba ada orang bagi aiskrim pulak. Hehe. Kira cam double happy sebab dapat laptop balik. Then tengok-tengok, semua benda masih ada seperti sebelum meragam.. Huhu...

Terima kasih, Bapak!

Hadiah birthday and raya paling best! Hehe..

Okaylah, nak tidur dulu. Penat sangat ini. Nanti kita cerita macam-macam lagi ok?

Good night, everyone!

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Rentetan 23 Tahun...

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 13:27:00 +0000

I missed it. Janji nak cerita hari Jumaat, tapi hari ni baru tertunai janji nak buat post baru. Sorry. Tapi, mungkin kelambatan ini ada hikmahnya! :)

Kalau dulu-dulu, bila birthday, mesti dah siap-siap iklan kat orang, birthday saya dah nak dekat! Konon dengan harapan dapatlah hadiah. Hehehe..

Tapi sekarang ni, ingatan dari orang-orang itu lebih beri makna pada aku. Yelah, masing-masing busy dengan life masing-masing. Tapi bila mereka mampu ingat hari penting aku, aku rasa terharu and of course bahagia. Bagi aku itu tanda kasih sayang mereka untuk aku. Buat yang susah payah memberi hadiah, aku rasa itu satu bonus dan terima kasih terhingga. Syukur sangat-sangat!

Seperti tahun-tahun lepas, aku suka bagi hadiah kat diri aku sendiri. Memandangkan tahun ni kewangan tak berapa baik, aku cuma mampu dapatkan ini. Itu pon yang murah punya.

Malindi cotton candy. Bukan leopard. Hehe..

Sekarang ni aku banyak berjalan lagi-lagi Ipoh-KL. Dan kaki aku tak pena sekali pon meragam. Tak pena sekali pon tidak serasi dengan aku. Selalu ada untuk aku. Jadi, kaki, ini tanda penghargaan kau! Terima kasih ok!

Oh, biji crocs tu sumbangan Dewi. Aku ada beli lagi 4 biji corak lain! Hehe. Dewi kasi selendang hitam juga. Woohoo.. Thanks ye!

Ini kisah hoping for a miracle pulak. Walau miracle yang aku harapkan itu tak jadi macam yang aku impikan - tepat jam 12 malam dia wish dan lain-lain sebaliknya aku menangis malam itu (reason dia je yang tahu) sampai aku tertido awal. Aku ada cakap, aku harap dia ingat sesuatu. Tapi aku tak cakap ingat ape, hari ka, masa ka, benda ka. Cuma sesuatu. Hmm.. Aku rasa dia lupa. Tapi, masih ada 24 jam. Masih lagi mahu berharap la kan. (T_T)

Dan, petang tu, selepas beberapa scene yang menusuk hati, dia wish. 2 kali (mungkin dia rasa serba-salah). Terus sebak. Terus nangis. Dia tak tahu apa maknanya wish dari dia untuk aku. Ya Allah, gembira bukan kepalang sampai berbuka puasa pon air mata gembira masih mengalir.

Aku masih anggap itu miracle walau apa pon. Sebab, keadaan dah lain - dia dah tak pikir tentang aku macam dulu. Macam masa kami berdua happy bersama. Aku tak bole tamak. Apa yang dia dah buat, cukup untuk aku. Cukup untuk aku rasa bahagia.

Ada miracle yang lain juga. After sometime dalam keadaan yang tak okay, finally, I met her yesterday. It's miracle. Selama ni jarang jumpa if gi mana-mana, but semalam dalam keadaan tak sangka, jumpa, memang betul-betul miracle. Jodoh kot. I hope it will be a good start for us to come back like before and if it's happened, it will be the bestest birthday gift ever.

Then today, bila aku login YM lepas 5 hari offline, I only realized, she did wished me through YM a day after my birthday! Thank you so much, dear!!

Buat Debbie (yang memberi handmade kad & crafts supplies), Dewi (biji crocs & selendang), Boom (chocolates almond), Sha (cincin azimat) and mostly to Ibu n Bapak (kasi mata wang), terima kasih banyak-banyak untuk hadiah yang diberikan! Sangat terharu. (^_^)

Buat anda yang lain, yang menghantar tanda ingatan di Facebook, blog dan juga telefon....

Xin Hui, Aja, Borneo, Jie Ying, Syuk, Mieza, Marinee, Liana, Moodey, Syafiq Alias, Kak Lin, Zulfadli, Alin, Najwa, Khalil, Jit, Juli, Nabila, Shaz, Dee, Syu Saufi, Mai, Sarah, Muna, Shazana, Azim, Siti Kema, Idul, Nabil, Lek Nah, Cik Mami, Adik Wan, Hazwani, Kak Lina, Pejei, Juzailah, Aini, Atul, Neo, Asrul, Ina, Raidah, Iji, Hazali, Sofia, Azie, and Hilman.

Terima kasih banyak-banyak! Aku hargai sangat-sangat!! The thoughts counted.

Dah umur 23 ni, aku cuma mengharapkan dua benda dalam hidup aku - more loves and prosperity yang bukan material. Aku harap akan ada orang hargai aku kerana aku. Bukan kerana dia perlukan aku time dia susah. Tak nak cakap panjang tentang ni, sebab ni pon aku dah nangis. Dunia sekarang banyak sangat materialistik. Aku tahu harta benda itu penting, tapi sampai sakitkan hati orang lain, itu bukan caranya..

Bila tentang duit, tentang harta, tentang kepentingan, kamu bole nampak warna sebenar hati orang tu. Dan aku tak mahu jadi orang itu. Dan aku harap kamu juga bukan di kalangan orang-orang itu.

Aku suka memberi. Aku rasa happy dapat memberi. Mungkin apa yang aku beri tak lah semahal mana, tapi aku rasa puas memberi. Memberi tak semestinya perlukan wang. Kadang-kadang pertolongan pon sudah memandai. Aku percaya, aku memberi, Insyaallah, bila aku perlukan sesuatu, rezeki aku akan diberikan oleh Allah. Dan aku harap, rezeki aku murah dan aku tabah untuk terus memberi ape yang diperlukan orang-orang dalam hidup aku.

Dan, aku harap, umur 23 ni, aku cukup kuat bangun untuk diri aku. Tak de lagi tangisan sedih pilu. Tak de lagi ratapan untuk yang tak perlu...

Hmmmm... Mudah-mudahan..

P/s: Tak suka bila orang menipu. Jangan cakap takde duit walhal baru lepas joli sana-sini. Kun fa yun, nanti Allah tarik balik rezeki.

P/s/s: Hadiah bukan mesti mahal. Kasi chewing gum 10 sen tu masih hadiah juga. Berharga pada saya.

P/s/s/s: Dia suruh, dia lupa. Sigh.

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23

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:56:00 +0000

23.

Nombor jersi Beckham. Ye, Beckham buat saya cair. Macam planta di atas kuali panas. Eh, perlu ke cerita pasal Beckham?

Oklah.

Itu bukan entri utama hari ini.

Mari cakap balik pasal nombor tadi. 23. Banyak bukan?

Ahha! Nombor itulah yang bertanggungjawab memberi magnitud kepada umur saya pada hari ini. Heh. Banyaknya umur!

Saya sudah masuk 23 tahun arini, semua!! Eh, silap. I'm turn a year wiser lah! Hehe.

Terima kasih di atas semua ucapan sama ada dalam facebook, blog dan juga sms! Saya hargai semuanya!!

Sebenarnya, masih belom sempat lagi check wall facebook. Tapi melihatkan jumlah email yang berbondot-bondot masuk dari facebook dengan jumlah yang luar biasa dari hari biasa tu, firasat rasa macam banyak kawan berutusan di wall facebook.

Kalau masih ada kudrat mahu saja baca semua malam ni juga. Tapi, ya ampun, penat sungguh arini. Jalan kaki ke sana ke mari. Dan tadi hampir jam 10 baru sampai di rumah dari KL. Jadi, terpaksa tangguhkan dulu. Maafkan saya!

Lagipon, esok mahu jumpa doktor and buat x-tray untuk MOS. Huh. Harus tidur awal. Cuak.

Ape-ape pon, entri 090909 dengan hoping for a miracle sebenarnya berkait dengan arini. Banyak benda nak cerita. Tapi dah letih sangat dah. Esok kita sambung cerita birthday lagi okay?

Saya sayang kamu semua. Muaxx. Muaxx. Muaxx.

P/s: Ibu kasi hadiah dalam sampul duit raya. Haha. Mesti duit. Tapi belom buka. Takut amount sikit. Hahaha. Ingat tunggu hadiah bapak dulu, baru nak buka. (-_-")

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090909

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 02:37:00 +0000

Dulu-dulu, impian si gadis semasa masih kecil dan muda....

before 090909,
sudah habis belajar dengan majlis graduasi yang macam best meriah bagai.

by 090909,
sudah mula bekerja sebagai engineer dan mampu memberi nafkah kepada ibu bapa.

on 090909,
akan jadi tarikh keramat yang best menambah jadi dua hari yang best berturut-turut.

Hakikatnya....
Pada 090909 yang sebenar : extend study, jobless and heartbroken single.

Long sigh.

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Feed and Fed-Up!

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:24:00 +0000

Haha. Tajuk garang. Tapi memang geram.

Now, menulis untuk venting geram tu. Tak marah.

Sebenarnya, blog lagi satu ada masalah dengan feed.

Mula-mula, bila nak add ke blog list, tak boleh. Reason - feed tak dapat dikesan. Then kodek-kodek, dah bole add ke blog list, tapi update 5 bulan lepas yang keluar! Hoh.

Even followers pon tak dapat feed! Aduh... Tak caya, cuba la korang try buat. Oh ye, cuma yang dah pernah link sebelum kes ni tak terjejas. Feed or update diterima seperti normal.

Check macam-macam, cuba macam-macam tapi masih sama. Dan sekarang dah rasa fed-up.

Feed ni penting untuk orang update berita terkini tentang sesuatu blog. Kalau feed tak jalan, rugilah. And banyak rugilah untuk blog lagi satu tu.

Now the only way nak tau feed terkini, kene subscribe through email. Tak convenience langsung. Orang yang tak subscribe, tak tau cerita. Subscribe cara yang lain tak tau jalan ke tak.

Tak tahulah apa yang silap. Conflict dengan domain baru untuk blog tu ke? Ke sebab edit layout aritu ada terusik coding feed. Tapi rasanya, tak usik code yang tak tahu.

Now terpikir satu jalan yang best je untuk feed blog lagi satu tu. Semua orang nampak. Semua orang boleh tahu. Guna banner macam neh untuk feed. Haha. Cool lah.

Rasa-rasa praktikal tak?

Kalau rasa praktikal, copy la code kat atas tu, then paste kat sidebar blog korang ehh.. Thank you..

For those yang terror dengan coding, benda IT, html code, fix sort thing called feed, I'm begging for your help. Please...(merayu macam Si Pussycat dalam Shrek). Kalau harus bayar, bole runding. But hopefully tak perlulah. Hoho.

Now dah macam lega sikit lepas venting even feed masih belom fix. Heh.

Sekali lagi, sesiapa yang bole membantu, roger me, please! Thank you…

Okaylah, esok ada kelas jadi harus tidur. Perlu bangun pagi. Jam 3.30 pagi

P/s: Nak mimpi impian hari 090909.

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Hoping for A Miracle

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 16:09:00 +0000

Seven days has past September.

And it's already the 17^th day of Ramadhan.

I'm hoping miracle will happen to me in this holy month of Ramadhan and September.

A miracle which will touch my heart most.

Miracle oh miracle. Please...

Oh you, please don't let me down!

Not in September. Not in Ramadhan.

I'll wait. I'm waiting. I waited.

P/s: kamu tahu kan apa yang bole touch hati saya? (T_T)

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Diyadeary Handmade Card

noreply@blogger.com (ms. diya) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 05:03:00 +0000

Some of you may know that I have another blog where I did handmade cards and sell them. The blog had been close for months due to personal reasons.

But, my handmade card blog is now open for business again. Definitely with new spirit, new layout, new domain and also new way to shop my cards!

However, there are still a lot of things to do with the blog. It may took sometime for it to be fully functioned.

Anyway, feel free to check my Diyadeary Handmade Card blog now as I have Aidilfitri Card collections. Only fews more left since I'm selling them cheap as they were handmade cards.

You can also click on either the banner below or at sidebar to get to Diyadeary Handmade Card.

Hope to hear from you soon! And have a happy weekend!

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